One Little Thing

By

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He watches as the woman makes her way across clumps of dirt, weeds, and the tangle of grass that passes for lawn. When she’s near him, she hesitates a moment, adjusts the thing she’s carrying, and steps onto the porch where he sits with a mug of coffee and pack of cigarettes.

“Isn’t it cuuute!” she says, cup-snuggling a bunny in her hands, looking up at the man, then back at the small bundle, extending her arms, holding the tremble near his cheek. The man yanks his head away, brings his torso with it. He smells like work, but he hasn’t been to work yet. “Aww. The wittle baby,” she says in her baby voice. Her fingers brush his cheek, their bones like porcelain sticks.

The man readjusts himself in his chair. “Don’t look like much of nothing,” he says, jotting a period with his chin. “Its eyes is even closed.”

“Well sure!” She looks at him. “It’s a wittle ba-by.” She cradles the bunny to her neck. Her ring is thin and gold and has a small, dull diamond in it.

The man snorts. “Good way to get eat up,” he says. “With your goddamn eyes closed.”

The woman hums, her head bending over the softness in her hands. She smiles at the man. She had seen something in him and, as women sometimes do with men like that, worked to bring it out. She smiles at him again. The bunny flutters like a heart.

The man drops an umbrella of fingers over his coffee, makes a dark noise. He sets the mug down on the railing and rises and steps around the woman and walks out into the yard, toward the makeshift bunny hutch, a discarded shopping cart on its back, and spins the front wheel, watching as if he’s playing roulette. It mewls and stops before a full revolution. He stares in at the huddled bunny parents.

He and the woman live a quarter-mile from Tire America. His shift there begins in forty-two minutes. He walks back to the porch, picks up the pack of cigarettes, pulls a set of keys from his pocket and dangles them from a pinkie. “I’m going.”

“Ain’t it early?” she says.

“Maybe.” He heads down the walk. Behind him, the woman squeezes her eyes tight and kisses the tickle of fur five, six, seven times.

Out on the street, the occasional maple pushes into bloom. The man swings the car wide from the curb, grabs the steering wheel hard. Needles of sun scatter from the ring on his finger.

 

 

4 responses to “One Little Thing”

  1. Fed Up Reader Avatar
    Fed Up Reader

    Seriously? Fourth rate, trite, claptrap. Might be just my bad luck but seems like every time I check in, BP’s li’l rabbit pellets are, more often than not, filled with similar middle class white male perspectives badly touring witnessed experiences as their own. Drop better filler or like, why bother? Unless, of course, that is the brand Burrow Press wants to be, & the only eyes its editors feel worthy of interpreting all of our “Florida experience” or whatever.

  2. R Singer Avatar
    R Singer

    Those are rather harsh words about an innocent endeavor, Fed Up Reader. While the mention of co-opting of witnessed experiences is thought-provoking, it is also presumptuous, assuming you don’t know the author. Regardless, it’s hard to see how toxic comments might influence a publisher’s submission acceptance decisions.

    If a piece of short fiction is not your cup of tea, maybe it’s best to just move along.

  3. Movie Star Avatar
    Movie Star

    Character complexity is tough to generate in flash fiction so I commend the author and those who write the short stuff. Fed Up Reader’s comment is an un-insightful, mean-spirited reaction I’m guessing was ignited (in this case) by the author’s emotional or psychic detachment/distance from the characters he’s writing, which makes it seem he’s standing outside the story with a limited view, and thus his readers are, too. The woman character is ignorant, childlike, smothering, and likes cute, furry animals. The man character is ignorant, a brute, emotionally unattached, and does not. The woman gushes with baby talk and love and kisses; the man gets the hell out of the scene. And this is the brief and limited snapshot glimpse — menacing, shattering, empty — of this fictional world. My sympathies, and perhaps the author’s, are with the bunnies.

  4. Get Serious Avatar
    Get Serious

    Looks like your anger got the best of you Fed Up Reader. Everyone has a right to dislike an editorial policy, but attacking one story and an author you probably don’t know (otherwise why wouldn’t you have had the courtesy to express your feelings face to face), is scapegoating of the worst kind. Plus once you ditch the fashionable clichés (you really should try to think for yourself), your comments come down to claiming that you alone are capable of identifying genuine representations of experience. These are dangerous ideas that don’t do anyone any good–think Charlie Hebdo. Fed Up Reader, there are brooms everywhere. Let’s hope that when you’re done cleaning up your own tiny rabbit pellets you’ll find the time to practice some humility.

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