Tagged: the shimmying writer

I am Not a Caesar

I am Not a Caesar

posted on August 16th, 2011 by Vanessa Blakeslee

We interrupt the typical Shimmying Writer business–and by typical we mean the mind-boggling way in which Ms. Blakeslee continues to relevantly unite writing and bellydancing–to bring you some original poetry by our resident shimmier, which aims to bridge theory and practice. Enjoy. ~MGMT

 

I am Not a Caesar
after Sylvia Plath’s “The Arrival of a Beebox”
(first published in Bellowing Ark, Spring 2009)

I am not a Caesar,
nor am I a Cleopatra.
But I may be the principal dancer
in the Royal Egyptian Dance Troupe.

Nor am I a Cleopatra;
I lack cunning motives.
But I may be the principal dancer
and star in my own production.

I lack cunning motives.
But I can crack others open with wit
and star in my own production.
Dancing requires no cleverness.

But I can crack others open with wit.
I don a hip scarf of good humor;
dancing requires no cleverness,
only the shimmy of hips, steady breath, bare feet.

Drills Drills Drills

Drills Drills Drills

posted on August 2nd, 2011 by Vanessa Blakeslee

I don’t think I can push out my hip any farther.

My hip is stretched to the limit, pointed at a diagonal toward the back corner of the studio. It’s Sunday, and our Master-level Bellydance class is practicing a series of drills designed to increase flexibility and improve technique in our maya and snake hip movements. Maya, the Egyptian word for water, is the name for the rippling move in which the hip is pulled out from the body, then down (beginning dancers are sometimes told to imagine stretching the hip over an invisible pole alongside the body). The “snake hip” is the reverse of the maya, a movement in which the hip is pushed out, then upward in a “scooping” fashion. We drill the maya, then repeat the same drill with the snake hips, executing smaller movements first—this is our usual, more comfortable range of motion. Then we repeat the same motion but make it bigger—pushing out the hip as far as possible. But because this isn’t tricky enough, of course, we take the drills on diagonals: side, front, side, back, repeat. And did I mention we only run through each sequence a couple of times slowly before the drills speed up?

By the time we break between the first drill sequence and the next, rush to the back of the studio and guzzle from water bottles, we are panting. A thin film of sweat coats my neck, shoulders and brow. As we catch our breath amidst the purses, shoes and dance bags lining the wall, Suspira, our instructor, sips from her water and resets the music. “We’ll feel this tomorrow, won’t we?” she says with a grin. “But drills are the best way to improve our technique.” And she reminds us that whenever we practice, we should execute the moves as fully as possible to build muscle and increase flexibility.

Easier said than done.

Summer at Orlando Bellydance means drills. Some of my classmates dislike this time of year between shows, when the classes focus on technique and combinations rather than choreography. Drills are seemingly endless in variety: some days we focus on hips, others on three-point-turns that leave us dizzy if we forget to spot. Other times we layer movements on top of another, gliding our grapevines across the room, drawing “diamonds” with the chest or pelvis. And while drills can prompt murmurs of “no pain, no gain,” eye rolls and other such reactions as we exit the studio, muscles throbbing and brains feeling like we’ve just undergone something akin to a mini-SAT, I like them.

Does this mean I’m a masochist? I don’t think so. Because I love nothing more than preparing for the shows our school puts on several times a year—the buzz over costumes, the rehearsals, the mounting excitement. But I also love the downtime between performances when the focus shifts to technique (there’s even a class offered, called “Technique Tune-Up”).

Drills pose a different type of challenge, essential to any art form. How do I stay at the top of my game? the artist must ask in regard to keeping one’s skill-set sharp. I remember how astonished I was midway through my MFA at learning that my teachers, published writers all, regularly relied on writing exercises to jump-start new works. I had made the mistake, as many novices do, of believing there existed a point where the “advanced” writer didn’t have to resort to such “gimmicks”—I certainly didn’t believe my teachers were giving themselves exercises similar to what they gave their students. I had failed to see the simplicity in the rigor of any artistic practice, that those who become masters are often those who retain the disciplined habits of students.          

We hear this all the time, don’t we? In some form or fashion, such sayings are tossed around literary circles—“you have to write every day,” “you have to set deadlines” or “word limits,” etc., so much so, there’s a danger in falling deaf over time to the wisdom instilled in such sayings. I don’t think it matters what habits, exercises, constraints or “tricks” work for you. Nor am I sure there exists an equivalent in creative writing to the “drills” we perform in dance class. But the one thing I know to be true in practicing both art forms is that repetition and the “pushing” of one’s muscles, literal or proverbial, to the limit are what stretches and strengthens our technique.

The second thing one can steal from dance drills and apply to writing is variety. In Bellydance, we conduct many similar drills, but rarely do we repeat the exact combinations, because the arrangements are so infinite, a master could drill for a lifetime and never grow bored or stagnant. And that is the point. The master artist knows how to keep his or her practice lively and surprising, always pushing in the direction of growth while never losing sight of the basics. Perhaps there is a writing exercise you find yourself returning to again and again, with tried-and-true results. I’ve got a few of those, one a favorite from my instructor at Vermont College, Douglas Glover, who said to write twenty story openers in order to unearth one that’s “hot” with conflict and interest. Aside from the commonly-given exercises in describing a character or setting, there are infinite others dealing with sentence-level writing, grammar and syntax—you can assign yourself the challenge of writing a page entirely in one-syllable words, for example. I guarantee you’ll be astonished by the results. Often the best material arises this way, when the consciousness is distracted by a constraint, allowing the subconscious to pour forth.

Writing regimens themselves can be another type of drill. I find myself changing these constantly. I write often but not always every day; this has been my habit since I was a child and because I’ve never strayed from writing for long, I’ve never been in fear of stopping the habit altogether—call me compulsive. But I do find myself stuck in ruts, needing new ways to jump start projects and challenge myself. For many years and throughout composing the first draft of my novel, I used page counts. Lately counting pages hasn’t appealed, so I’ve adopted the journalistic approach of word tallies instead; fifteen-hundred a day seems a decent amount. Lately, too, I’ve drifted toward nonfiction, a genre I’ve ignored aside from school assignments, delving into the forms of essay and blog writing with delight.

A good rule-of-thumb in practicing art is to give oneself assignments in other genres—cross-training if you will. Feeling fried by fiction? Has the life died in your sentences? Assign yourself a sonnet or a pantoum. Don’t feel ready yet to tackle that new novel idea? Write a short story or a flash fiction to keep your skills sharp. Take a journalistic approach and answer a thematic call-for-submissions.

Strong form is the key upon which everything is built in art. Which reminds me of another quote from Douglas Glover, excerpted here from his must-read essay, “Short Story Structure: Notes and an Exercise,” originally published in the Canadian journal, The New Quarterly:

 Form initially feels as if it shuts down creative freedom, but it actually does the opposite by creating a number of blank spaces or cells or chunks of aesthetic space…in which the writer is forced to create new conflict material… Form forces you to go deeper and be more creative, not the opposite” (166).

In other words, only by mastering form and technique will the brilliance of your imagination ever shine through.

In dance, good form means standing tall with legs shoulder width apart, pelvis tucked underneath, and knees slightly bent. Good form means straight arms, energy in the hands through the fingertips, pointed toes, and sharp, fully extended articulations. Good form is reinforced by drills, repetition, practice. Whether in the studio or on stage, you always want to execute good form; you can’t get anywhere without it. The same can be said if you’re sitting down to write your novel or an email. We’ve become a sloppy bunch in our day-to-day communication, and there’s no reason we should be, as writers—especially since in our laziness, we’re missing a terrific opportunity to play with the newest of forms. Whether composing a text, tweet, scene or summary, set it as a writing challenge to maintain good form, interest and audience-awareness. These are your words, after all. And the master is one who is always tuning up technique.

From Page to Stage

From Page to Stage

posted on July 19th, 2011 by Vanessa Blakeslee

Any day now, my instructor at Orlando Bellydance will post the official date and performance sign-up sheet for the annual Summer Gala. As in previous years, the event will likely take place at a local restaurant or hotel, include dinner with the ticket price, and offer an opportunity for students to perform to an intimate crowd of mostly friends and family. Venue location, costume colors, and the order of routines and solo slots are as eagerly awaited as Christmas; dancers who have been on vacation will rush back to participate or at least attend in support of their fellow dancers (which happened to me last year, when my chance to attend the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference prevented me from performing).

This summer I have no scheduling conflict. So why do I find myself hesitant to sign up?

Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been in front of an audience in awhile—not since last fall. This spring I was away at a residency, working on my novel, at the time of our big show. But I’ve performed numerous times over the past several years; I’m not the type to get cold feet at the prospect of the stage. So that leaves me to wonder if what I’m shirking from is the work involved—no, absolutely required, of performing for an audience.

And if that’s the case, then my hesitancy makes an intriguing parallel to where I found myself recently with submitting my work for publication.

I’m reminded of the words repeated by my dance instructors before each performance opportunity looms nearer—Performance is always an invitation. No one is ever forced to dance in front of an audience. But we strongly encourage everyone to perform.

We strongly encourage everyone to perform. What does that really mean? And how might it benefit us as writers to approach publishing as performance?

What the instructors are saying pertains across art forms, and I think, is crucial if we consider the time and energy we put into what we do once we become artists. They mean, first and foremost, that how you choose to practice this art form is up to you. You can take classes for decades and never shimmy past your living room, and that’s perfectly okay. Except, they say, we as your mentors and champions think it’s really, really important that you get up there and perform what you’ve worked so hard to learn. Especially if you’ve taken seriously the achievements, challenges and joys the art form has brought you.

But why? one may ask. What difference does it make if I perform or not? Can’t I just dance for myself?

For the writer, similar questions arise. Shouldn’t I just write for myself first and forget about publishing? What does it matter if I publish in literary journals anyway—how many people are reading those? Is it really worth my spending hours in front of submission managers until my back aches and my eyes glaze over, or stocking up on manila mailers from Office Depot?

The answer for both mediums is yes and yes. Publishing is the performance aspect of the writing process. If you take your craft seriously, you’ll have to take publishing seriously, too.

Recently I found myself fed up with the literary submission process. I’ve been submitting fairly heavily over the past four years with excellent results, but this spring I hit a wall. For most of the spring I didn’t send out much, in part because I was working on rewrites of my novel but also because I was plain burnt-out, tired of the grunt work, the long response times, and overwhelmed with the sheer number of markets. But when I opened up my “Finished” file the same stories and poems stared back at me. Good work, deserving of homes and needing them fast, because my new material is radically different from what I was writing merely two years ago.

You’ll never get any of this published if you don’t keep sending out, I chided myself. And I dug up one of my all-time favorite quotes about publishing that I stumbled across a few years ago, by Isaac Asimov:

“You must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success – but only if you persist.”

This quote never fails to motivate me. But why is Asimov so adamant in his convictions? Is he speaking here of merely publishing-for-publishing’s sake? I don’t think so. To me, the zealousness of his statement speaks to that underlying why. As a writer, you’ve poured your heart into manuscripts that you wouldn’t have put to paper if they hadn’t meant a lot to you, and you’ve likely studied and rewritten and studied some more, so that you can tell a story damn well, better than most people out there. Through hard work, and perhaps some inborn talent, you have a gift. And it is incumbent upon you to share that gift with the world, with those who are silently desperate for the beauty and truth you have to offer, for you to provide the bright spot in their day. It is incumbent upon you to muster the courage and generosity of spirit to find your art a stage where it may shine. To persist.

If you don’t, the world might not come to any harm as a result. But it surely won’t be any brighter.

I called my resurrected submission efforts the Great Summer Journals Project. The fact that most of the big literary magazines were closed proved a great opportunity to research a market I’d been avoiding as a potential “stage” for my short fiction—online journals. I’d first broached the realm of online publishing last year, albeit hesitantly, with poetry. After all, was anybody really reading short fiction on-line? But as I knew from the handful of poems I’ve had picked up by online journals, such publications reach a much wider audience via the Internet—an exciting prospect for any writer. I organized my approach by setting a manageable goal of combing through NewPages’ Big List of magazines alphabetically, one letter a day. I was excited by the variety of very decent online magazines that I’d been unaware of, such as Dzanc Books’ “The Collagist,” the men’s journal dubbed “The Bull,” “52 Stories,” “Slush Pile” and others, many of which are open year-round.

The result has been an astonishing eight poems and three stories accepted in one month, with a fourth story currently in final review. At least two of the poems will also be featured as Podcasts—an exciting prospect, indeed. All because I made the decision that the grunt work, and most importantly, the stories and poems themselves, were worth it.

Performance means commitment, and in many ways, requires as much stamina as creating the work itself. I happen to think performance is crucial not only for the audience who receives the benefits of our effort and vision, but for the performer. Preparing for public presentation, whether on stage or in print, forces you to put your best foot forward, puts you on top of your game. It’s no great coincidence that I still tinker with drafts even while I’m sending them out, just as my dance instructor tinkers with choreographies right up through dress rehearsal week. And as with stage performance, seeing a piece of writing at last in print—whether by sharing the journal link on Facebook or holding the print publication in your hands—builds confidence and reaffirms one’s identity as an artist. Performance completes the creative cycle for a given work, enables the artist to pause, look at what he or she has done, and step boldly toward the next challenge.

Here’s another thought: what if all dancers elected not to perform, all writers not to publish—to leave those manuscripts to die, two hard drives ago. What if?

The world would be a less colorful place, indeed.

So this week when the performance roster goes up, I’m going to commit to the sword routine I spent four Tuesday evenings learning. I’ll pack my sword in my suitcase when I leave to visit my family at the end of the month, search for costumes on-line. Suffer the performance-day jitters, remember to smile at the audience, many of whom will never Bellydance, or get the chance to share hard-earned efforts or talent onstage. Step into the wings confident in having seen work through, to a job well done.

The Mask & the Sword

The Mask & the Sword

posted on July 5th, 2011 by Vanessa Blakeslee

We turn and lower our swords. In the mirror the gleaming blade divides my face, the saber extended and upright, aligned above my bent knee. Head slides right, left-right. Sharp, staccato. Our faces are tight-lipped, our gazes fierce. Approach if you dare, we seem to say. Then the music changes: a quick, upbeat melody. Swords held like half-moons above our heads, we shift to the more festive, folkloric saidi and ghawzee movements.

For the past four weeks I’ve been taking a sword workshop on Tuesday nights, learning a routine for the Orlando Bellydance Summer Gala in August. This is only my second sword choreography, but from the first time I slid the weapon from its velvety sheath and held it, I liked its weight and heft. But more than that, I liked the way incorporating the prop into the dance made me feel—the strong movements, the suspense of balancing the blade (dull, of course—although it is a real sword) on knee, stomach, crown of the head. The feeling that arises within as I move with the blade, the daring mysteriousness and sometimes playful haughtiness.

You might say I’m a little in love with the sword.

To dancers this is not surprising. Every bellydancer falls in love with some props over others. Many adore veils, others zills. But it’s not the prop one falls in love with, really. It is the persona the prop unearths, the previously unknown side of oneself which at first peeks out, then emerges more and more fully. Of the various props used in Middle Eastern dance, the sword is the one that makes me think the most about character and persona, how we tap into those elements as writers, and what we can borrow from other art forms to delve more deeply into character when writing.

How we can create character and persona is something I think we often tend to neglect as writers. I once had a writing instructor suggest to the students that we each take an acting course. I took his advice, but not until years later. I regretted not doing it sooner. In “Writing Down the Bones,” a terrific book by Natalie Goldberg in which she discusses writing alongside the insights of Zen meditation, there is a short passage entitled, “Blue Lipstick and a Cigarette Hanging Out of Your Mouth.” I was assigned the book for an undergraduate writing class years ago, and at the time I scoffed at her advice in that section:

“Borrow your friend’s black leather motorcycle jacket, walk across the coffee shop like a Hell’s Angel, and sit down and write. Put on a beret or house shoes and a nightgown, wear work boots, farmer’s overalls, a three-piece suit, wrap yourself in an American flag or wear curlers in your hair. Just sit down to write in a state you don’t ordinarily sit down to write in” (142).

How silly, I thought at the time. I’m not going to dress up in a stupid costume to write.

But writing is drama, and fiction is based on character. Even poets wear a “mask” between themselves and the audience—the “persona” which represents a speaker in a literary work who is not necessarily the author, but “a personality, as distinguished from the inner self” according to the Greek definition. So why don’t we approach our writing more as a stage-exercise? Sometimes I think it’s because we become so glued to our chairs and computers, so caught up in the mind, that we forget to get up, take a walk, try something new.

Remind ourselves that costumes aren’t just for Halloween.

I don’t remember consciously altering my writing process, to take seriously the possibilities of tapping into character more physically as I worked on my novel over the past two years. Nor can I pinpoint the influence of learning to bellydance with props and perform in full costume and make-up on my fiction writing. But at one point in drafting the novel, which is set in South America, I dug out my Peruvian shawl and wrapped myself in it as I typed on the couch. A few days later, I was in the shawl and remembered the cowboy hat I had bought in Costa Rica, the kind popular with farmers in Latin America. I stocked my fridge with arepas from the grocery store, drank coffee, and donned the shawl and sombrero off and on for the duration of the project, blasting the Gipsy Kings as I wrote.

You know what? The Peruvian shawl, the arepas and the Spanish guitar music all ended up in my novel. I’m not sure they would have if I hadn’t reached into my costume closet for an impromptu getup. And if my experience with dance props and performance hadn’t given me the courage to tap into character a different way, through the physical, and the attitude of “serious play” artists often speak about. The novel, I believe, is richer for it.

I like to think of the sword as the fiction writer’s prop, as the sword dance is itself a fiction. There is a widespread belief that bellydancing with a sword derived from women who accompanied men to war and danced for them at night. In reality, modern-day bellydancers embrace the sword as a folkloric prop based on Orientalist photographers and painters of the 19th century like Jean-Léon Gérôme, who traveled throughout the Middle East and depicted women and dancers with swords. Researchers have uncovered no evidence to date that dancing with swords was ever a common practice in the region.

But no matter. Art doesn’t have to be precise; in fact, the results are better when the path to the finished product is a little bit messy, unconventional, and surprising. Story and drama arise from various modes of “tapping in.” When I donned the shawl and rancher’s hat while writing my novel, I didn’t have a specific character in mind—I was capturing the spirit of the narrative spectrum. As I lunge and extend my sword, chin lifted, a new persona emerges: the self-who-is-not-myself. The warrior-goddess.

How I Became a Bellydancer

How I Became a Bellydancer

posted on June 21st, 2011 by Vanessa Blakeslee

One of the first questions I’m asked when people find out I practice the art of Bellydance is: how did you get into that? Among the most curious, no surprise, are the other writers I meet at conferences and colonies, as well as longtime literary friends who I haven’t seen in awhile. So it seems fitting to begin at the beginning, and even more so that the answer to the oft-repeated question how did you start bellydancing? has everything to do with my life as a writer.

It boils down to this: I likely would have never discovered Bellydance had I not been a writer.

In fall of 2007 bellydancing, let alone becoming a bellydancer was about the furthest thought from my mind. Like scores of other emerging young writers, I was juggling a hefty class load while earning my MFA in Writing at Vermont College of Fine Arts, shuffling back and forth between teaching at UCF during the day and Rollins College in the evenings. The Rollins College students were older than the typical undergraduates, struggling to balance day jobs with earning degrees at night; in many ways my students and I were in the same boat together. The class was a challenge to teach in an entirely different way—they whined more briefly about their assignments, for one. But they also tended to leap into their learning with more enthusiasm and vigor. One such assignment that provoked immediate groans and fretful questioning was my favorite to give out: the Immersion Essay, in which students had to play journalists, go out and undertake an experience they had never done before with the intention of writing an essay about it afterwards. One of the students, Judy, decided for her “immersion” she would take a Bellydance class.

Judy’s essay was fantastic—vivid in sensory details and thorough in her exploration of her expectation and the end results. As I scribbled my comments on the last page of her essay, I thought, I think I want to try a Bellydance class. Judy had earned her A, but in so doing had accomplished exactly what great writing is supposed to do—persuade others to think a different thought, take a different action, perhaps wildly out of the norm. As a writing teacher, it reinforced in me the power of words. As Pat Schneider, author of “Writing Alone and With Others,” and founder of Amherst Writers & Artists says, “A writer is someone who writes.” Never underestimate the power of anyone’s words to move you.

This student’s paper literally did—move me.

But not right away. Like many other well-intentioned goals, “try a beginning Bellydance class” remained on my bucket list for another couple of months. Until New Year’s came around. My younger sister was visiting between her college break, and scraping my brain for a fun, sisterly activity to do, I said, “How about a Bellydance class?” She was game. We looked up the studio, Orlando Bellydance, and emailed the owner and teacher, Suspira, who confirmed.

“Suspira,” my sister remarked with a wry grin. “She even has a cool name.”

I recall getting a bit nervous then, wondering what to expect. What had I just gotten myself into? I was a writer. I had been a skinny couch potato-bookworm for most of my life. My dance experience amounted to a year of ballet when I was five. I didn’t think of myself as being particularly coordinated. What if I was about to make a fool of myself?

Several days later we showed up to the tiny studio, then near the Rollins College campus in Winter Park. Suspira was a petite, curvaceous woman who crossed the room briskly with a bright smile. She invited us to don hipscarves from the baskets near the door. We stretched and warmed up to Middle Eastern music, and the class began. Quickly I realized we were in the hands of a master teacher, someone centered on the students’ learning, not her own ego. She broke down all of the steps clearly, kept our interest with the lesson’s variety; in no time at all the hour had vanished and I was facing myself in the mirror, thinking, I want to do this again.

And do it again I would. My sister went home, and the following week I was back at Level One Bellydance.

What was it about those first classes that so captured me about the experience? Perhaps it was the change of reality, of just doing something different from the pattern that life had fallen into: campus, car, computer, and back again the next day. Perhaps it was a semester of grading, reading and writing for so long that my back and neck ached, and I forgot what it was like to move and to feel my heart in shape. Perhaps it was arriving to those first classes and chatting with the other women as we stretched, interacting with people out of the realm of my ordinary life—psychiatrists, Disney employees, cancer survivors, frazzled moms. Perhaps I’ll never know. All I knew was that I was hooked, because I had encountered this same compulsion before—as a child, when I first discovered writing.

Fast forward three years. I’m at my after-dance class pit stop, Whole Foods on Aloma Avenue (shortly after I started attending Orlando Bellydance, the school outgrew the space and is now located at a spacious studio on the other side of 436). I’m dressed in fitted, purple flared pants and a cropped dance top, my hair so long it sways down my back. I’m slightly sweaty, wearing plum lipstick, blush and mascara. In the pasta aisle, I run into Judy. We exclaim hello and exchange pleasantries. She says, “You know, I still remember that essay I wrote for your class, the one on Bellydance. It was my favorite assignment.”

I must have laughed. “I do too,” I said. “Would you believe because of that essay, I’ve become a bellydancer? I’m in the master classes now.” And I gestured to my outfit, her expression turning to awe.

Looking back, I have to admire the natural progression of events coming full circle in running into Judy at the grocery store. I couldn’t have invented a more perfect ending to the story of “How I Became a Bellydancer” if I was writing fiction, my usual medium. But I ought to have known, shouldn’t I, that this was only the first of many surprises in store. I’ve heard other writers proclaim, only half-jokingly, that artists cannot serve two masters. And they are correct in their skepticism, for the path to doing so is rife with conflict. For if you pursue two art forms seriously and simultaneously, one form dips into the other, feeds, informs and shapes it—and inevitably threatens to smother the other altogether. Sacrifices must be made.

But I write fiction. I hunt down conflict and spear it with my words. I don’t like taking no for an answer and I believe we all have many talents and should use them (i.e. Leonardo da Vinci), are required by the universe to use them, once they appear. This is my vision for “The Shimmying Writer”—to explore my journey of serving two muses, writing and Middle Eastern dance. I hope you will be moved to think, to learn and be inspired, as Judy’s essay those years ago inspired me to create another version of myself, free of words, of body over mind—a bellydancer.