I learned a lot at the Sirenland Writers Conference in Positano, Italy, last year, but perhaps the most important thing I didn’t learn until it was too late was that you shouldn’t let an Italian carry a conversation next to a very large, expensive vase.

Yes, the brilliant Dani Shapiro shared her wisdom, which included things like, “When writing an initial draft of a story, don’t be afraid to open new doors and let new characters and events in, because they could enrich your story, and you can always edit them out later.” But still, if she had said, “Gene, you’re Italian, so don’t stand next to a large, expensive vase while speaking,” then she would have saved me from doing something I’m still not comfortable writing about.

I also remember the great words of Hannah Tinti—editor of One Story—great words like (and I’m paraphrasing), “When writing a cover letter, be sure to mention any writers conferences you’ve attended, as this will help support the fact that you are serious about your craft. If you met that journal’s editor before, it couldn’t hurt to succinctly put that in there, too.” Great words, indeed, Hannah. But even greater words would have been (and I’m not paraphrasing), “Gene, I noticed you throw your hands around a lot when you talk—probably because you’re Italian—and there’s a chance that, at one of the cocktail hours coming up, you’ll be talking to the charming, wonderful Karen Shepard and, while doing so, your hand just might hit a large, expensive vase, knocking it down and sending it crashing to the floor, where it will shatter.” ( Read more )