I recently came across some poetry written by a class of second-graders. You’ll find a handful of the poems below. But, more important, you’ll find my feedback on each poem. You’ll agree: these little kids are just plain adorable, but it stops there. Poets they are not. You should’ve seen their faces when I told them that!

Anyway, enjoy, and happy National Poetry Month!

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What’s Inside The Briefcase?

What’s inside the briefcase?

Could it be a mouse?

What’s inside the briefcase?

Could it be a house?

What’s inside the briefcase?

Could it be a box?

What’s inside the briefcase?

Could it be a fox?

What’s inside the briefcase?

Guess we’ll never know.

What’s inside the briefcase?

Could it be my toe?

This poem is cute on so many levels. Unfortunately, all of the levels are named ‘Hack.’

First of all, what’s going on in this poem? That’s a good question. But a better question might be, What’s not going on in this poem? And still even better would be to ignore this poem altogether.

Let’s look at the line “What’s inside the briefcase?” Obviously, this question is rhetorical. It’s impossible for the reader to actually guess what’s inside the briefcase. The author himself can’t even figure it out. He keeps asking the question, but he’s getting nowhere. Do you want to go nowhere? No, of course you don’t. I think it’s clear that the most telling line is “Guess we’ll never know.” It’s the only line in the poem that doesn’t have a question mark, perhaps indicating the author lacks self-esteem.

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I Love My Cat

I love my cat

I love my bat

I love my clothes

I love my nose

I love my mom

I love my dad

I love my dog

I love his hat!

At first, I thought the author of this poem was trying her hand at a clerihew—the whimsical biographical poem invented by the late Edmund Clerihew Bentley, which follows the rhyme scheme AABB. But, as we all know, the clerihew is limited to four lines. Also, the poet breaks the rhyme scheme after line four. Why? Is there something special about his mom and dad as well as the dog and hat? Perhaps his mother is calling his father a dog. But, again, why? Well, one would imagine it’s because of that silly hat the father is wearing, the one that has long, floppy dog ears down each side. Can you imagine such a hat! Better get that right ear checked, Dad, I smell an ear infection!

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Sally

Sally was a hamster

Sally was a frog

Sally was in my hamper

Sally was in a log

Sally is in the bathroom

Sally was in the den

Sally was going vroom vroom!

Sally was in the pen.

I’m not sure where to start with this one. First of all, what in god’s name is Sally? casino Is she a hamster, a frog, what? I’m okay with ambiguity, but, as a reader, I’m not a fan of poets who are just out to manipulate my emotions, and my emotions are officially manipulated. Is Sally some sort of supernatural shapeshifter, like that one guy in True Blood? If so, then I guess my next question would be, What kind of parent lets their child watch True Blood? Or, on second thought, perhaps this is a metaphor for the speaker. The speaker himself feels the need to shift his personality to adapt to various situations. Well, that could be, but I don’t think that’s on the page. I think this writer has a lot to learn about poetry and probably life in general. Also, note the improper tense shift in line five.

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Grizzly Bear!

I found a shoe out in the woods

I tried it on and it fit me good

When all of a sudden, out of the blue

A grizzly bear came looking for the shoe!

“Here you go, Grizzly” I said,

If I hadn’t run away I would have surely been dead.

The exclamation point in the title should’ve clued in me on the merits of this poem. Exclamation points should be used only when necessary, and this doesn’t seem like a necessary place for one. When I explained this to the author, he said, pathetically, “It seems necessary because grizzly bears are scary.” I, of course, told him that this was why you didn’t need it—the words ‘grizzly’ and ‘bear’ evoke the emotion of fear all by themselves, thereby making the exclamation point not only unsightly, but redundant. He just kind of stared at me, but I think he got it. Maybe not. Who knows. Not my kid, not my problem.

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Roses Are Red

Roses are red,

Violets are blue;

I want to give you a big hug

Because I love you!

It sounds like the person who wrote this poem is deeply in love. Too bad the relationship will probably end up in divorce, if you consider the statistics.