November 13th at Mad Cow Theatre will mark Orlando’s second episode of Literary Death Match. It’s one month away and there is already blood in the water.

Tod Caviness, Speakeasy host and Orlando-Weekly-voted “Best” something-or-other, will be one of four contestants at the Death Match. He fired the first volley via his liberal elitist mouthpiece blog over at the Sentinel.com, refering to his opponents as such:

…poet (and pushover) Kat Dixon, Burrow Press author (and wuss) J. Christopher Silvia, and emerging writer Rachel Kapitan (who throws like a girl).

Why did he do this? Why does a boxer tell the press he will eat his opponent’s children? Why does a football player break fingers at the bottom of the dogpile? Why did that Lector in Ybor City challenge another Lector to a duel over what book was most appropriate to read to the cigar rollers? Because books are worth dying for. Don’t think too hard about that one, just move on.

I’ve got money in Vegas that Tod, with his background in performance and sick writing skills, is going to take the crown. If only the actual judging mattered. That being said, this episode’s wise and knowledgable and completely irrelevent judges will be:

Poet, author, There Will Be Words host, man about town, provocateur, J. Bradley (Literary Merit)

Rockstar photographer, as in literally takes photographs of rockstars, Brook Pifer (Intangibles)

And last but certainly not least, poet, philanthropist, former Orlando Magic center, Adonal Foyle (Performance)

It probably goes without saying that this is going to be AMAZING. A heartfelt thanks to Jana Waring, BP darling, for locking this event down.

Alright, enough talk. Less chat. More splat! PRE-ORDER YOUR TICKERS FOR $6